下午茶來點糖炒栗子如何?

超譯有(很多)、押韻(費盡心思)、可以唱:D(大概)
我覺得這篇算是全年齡向(嗎？有黃梗)，不算完全健全

[主持人]
歡迎來到第五屆吟遊詩人之戰！
Welcome to the fifth annual battle of the bards!

出場的是我們的冠冕王：
Introducing your reigning champion:

Zephyr大詩人！
Zephyr The Great!

和他的挑戰者：
And his challenger:

大老安姨(*1)
The great Aunty.

[Antrius]
是大老Antrius！
It's The Great Antrius!

不不 是Antrius大詩人！
No-no It's Antrius The Great!

[Zephyr]
平步好運，狡猾小安。(*2)
Break a leg, Cantrius.

[Antrius]
吹你自己去，火熱氣球。(*3)
Oh blow yourself you hot air balloon.

[主持人]
我要一個乾淨的場子，
Now I want to a nice clean bard-off. 

不准低俗下流。(*4)
Nothing is below the belt.

喔等等，你們是吟遊詩人。
Oh wait a minute. You're Bards.

梗都低於褲腰！
Everything is below the belt!

[Eva(玩家/Evandra)]
這就是為什麼同一團不會邀兩位吟遊詩人。
This is why we don't invite two Bards to the one table.

[Nicole(玩家/Nixie)]
對，別擔心，我帶了耳塞。
Yeah don't worry. I brought my earplugs.

[Pat(DM/主持人)]
讓詩人說唱 開戰！(*5)
Let the Bard-off begin!

[Zephyr]
喔 什麼聲音？是一隻病貓！
Oh what′s that sound? It's a dying cat!

不會吧 是位吟遊蠢材不會嘴砲
No wait it′s a talentless Bardic twat

只會說屁話 不是第一天知道(*6)
Just a has-been hack who sings from his ass

他完全在糟蹋吟遊詩人的格調
He's a total embarrassment to the Bardic class

Antrius永遠不會有一小點一丁點和我一樣棒
Antrius will never be any itty-bitty bit as good as me

覺得你是神級人物？拜託
You think you're a god, please!

你是兜擋布
You′re a codpiece

來吸我的ㄉ-(*7)
Now suck this D--

大成功
Natural

[Evandra]
你有看到嗎？
Did you see that?

[Nixie]
他在作弊！
He's cheating!

[主持人]
我看沒問題。
Looks fine to me.

[Antrius]
節奏有致 風趣機智 我指法十分輕快
My licks are sick, my wit is quick, my fingering is tight

你這不及幼兒園程度的無毛精怪
You′re barely our of preschool you hairless little sprite

以為清楚我方方面面
I'm not the Bard you think you know

底位無知我非凡完美
I′m awesome and you stink you know

我的歌在世界上迴旋
The world can hear my song reverberating!

我們趕緊分勝負吧
We better wrap this up

你爸媽盼勝者凱旋
Your mum and dad are waiting

在我家！
At my house!

[Zephyr]
噢不！
Oh no!

別又是你的G弦。
Not your G-string again.

像是你學院沒畢業一樣！
This is just like Bard College!

別說魯蛇你沒和他們為伍
As if you weren't a loser to begin with

看那粗手粗腳的滑稽隊伍(*8)
Look at the flumph-huggers you walked in with

喔喔 媽呀！
Oh-oh my word!

是半精靈 半無賴
It′s a half-elf, half-turd

和怪異 臭氣 粉系 拙樣
And a hinky, stinky, pinky, scroat

像一隻豬被變異成山羊
Like a pig polymorphed into a goat

你朋友被選剩留到最後
Friends like those are last resorts

他們是臭水溝 是苦痛 是你衣服的污垢
They're a drain, they′re a pain, they're a stain on your shorts

他們臭到令人坐立難安
They're the awful smell that you can′t quite place

像又熱又臭大水屁噴你滿臉
They′re a big loud wet hot fart in your face

[路人]
不是吧爺爺！
Now again grandpa!

[Antrius]
那不是我！
It wasn't me!

儘管耍伎倆 而我讓藝術響亮
Cheat all you want but this is how art sounds

當你在鑽研於你的魔法屁響
While you were boning up on your magic fart sounds

而我在實踐鍛鍊實戰每一個時機
I was getting practical, practicing tactical timing

排列語句最屌最對每一個韻腳
With every single syntax I maximize actual rhyming!

身為焦點 我勤練魯特 長笛 吉他（*9）
I'm a card, I go hard on lute, flutes, and guitars

身為大咖 眾人誇嘻哈嗆辣有夠殺（*10）
I′m the star they regard as the Bard spittin' bars

[Zephyr]
看起來有點冷啊～狡猾小安。
Lookin' a little cold there, Cantrius.

Antrius永遠不會有一小點一丁點和我一樣棒
Antrius will never be any itty-bitty bit as good as me

覺得你是神級人物？拜託
You think you're a god, please!

你是兜擋布
You′re a codpiece

他比不過這天才的ㄐ-(*11)
He cannot compete with this G--

降G大調
Flat

[Eva(玩家/Evandra)]
你就讓這皮包骨混蛋打敗你？
Are you just going to let the scrawny brat beat you?

在他這樣說完我們之後？
After what is said about us?

[Nicole(玩家/Nixie)]
對啊，我以為你是「Antrius大詩人」
Yeah, I saw you were "Antrius The Great"

不是「Antrius大失所望」！
Not "Antrius The Great Big Disappointment"!

[Antonio(玩家/Antrius)]
他作弊！
He's cheating!

我贏不了。
I can't win.

[Eva(玩家/Evandra)]
自己一人不行...
Not on your own...

但幸好你有帶上後援！
But it's a good thing you brought back-up!

[主持人]
所以勝者是...
And the winner is...

Zephyr大詩人！
Zephyr The Great!

[Antrius]
你還沒贏 兒子
You've not won, son

我沒答應 兒子
I′m not done, son

我有朋友你沒有 兒子
I've got friends and you've got none, son!

重整旗鼓
Time to sack up

友軍救助
I′ve got back-up!

[路人]
離Zephyr遠點！
Leave Zephyr alone!

[Antrius]
友誼讓你心想事成
With friendship you get your wish

友誼讓你像死魚被我抓緊
With friendship I′ll gut youlike a fish!

友誼讓你奪得每輪
Friendship means you get your turn

友誼幫你仇敵俱焚
Friendship helps your enemies burn

友誼是你盤子上的大肉
Friendship is the food on your plate

是你插進你討厭之人脖子的白刃
It's the knife in the throat of the people that you hate

是幫你打贏戰爭白熱般狂暴
It′s the white hot rage that helps you win the war

是腦漿塗牆板與血灑滿地板
It's the brains on the walls and the blood on the floor

[Evandra & Nixie]
我們會打爆你！
We′ll destroy you!

[Antrius]
這就是友誼的棒！
And that's what friends are for!

[Zephyr]
他在作弊！取消他資格！
He's cheating! Disqualify him!

[Antrius]
怎麼了Zephyr？沒魔法就贏不了？
What's wrong, Zephyr? Can't win without magic?

[Zephyr]
你什麼都不是！閉嘴給我聽好。
You are nothing! Shut up and listen.

[Antrius]
誠實之域。
Zone of truth.

[Zephyr]
從他人那偷魯特琴
I stole this flute from someone else

不會舞動身體
I don′t know how to dance

人生不如我的意
Life's not what I wanted

有襪子在我褲裡
There's a sock inside my pants

我被剔除學籍 同伴們覺得我怪異
I got kicked out of college and my folks think I′m a creep

頭掛假髮 滿口胡話(*12)
I wear a wig. I porked a pig

以淚洗面睡下
I cry myself to sleep

[Antrius]
友誼的小船越成長越茁壯
Friendship′s a vessel that grows ever grander

但每一艘船都需要位船長
But then again every ship needs a commander

友誼是我眼中最閃亮的火光
Friendship is found in my smoldering stare

撥動我的魯特 撥弄秀髮飄蕩
And the pick of my lute, and the flick of my hair

友誼帶你跨勇敢的一躍(*13)
Friendship is the take you do for kicks

是在背景伴唱裡低音的聲樂
It's the back-up singers that are lower in the mix

是正片之後 主線完結後
It′s the post-credits scene. It's the afterword

是兩位身影模糊融入背景後
It′s the two in the back that are ever-slightly blurred

畫上巧妙的標註
It's the subtle underscore

他們愛的是我！
But I′m who they adore!

註1：great=好的、棒的、曾祖母曾祖父的「曾」
叫人家的名字時，但把人家的名字尾改成Y結尾，是比較親暱的叫法。但aunty = 阿姨/舅媽輩等女性旁系長輩。
雙關「讚讚小安」和「老老阿姨」

2：Break a leg雙關=英文諺語「祝你好運(褒)」；字面意思「腿骨折(貶)」。
Cantrius=C開頭的字+Antrius
猜測是Cunny=（髒話）、機敏、狡猾
(上一集也有出現過，但我一直不確定是不是這個意思)
（翻不出來上面的雙關，就再寫一個！）
「狡猾」=「腳滑」再加上「步」(貶)

3：go blow yourself = go fxxk yourself ，和後面的hot air balloon熱氣球對應。這樣稱呼Zephyr元素裔(氣)，算是貶。
(和前一句Zephyr的褒貶半參、互相陰陽)hot=火辣性感(褒)、熱

4：below the belt = 不公正手段(例如：作弊aka低俗下流的手段)；字面指的是「腰帶之下」。
符合我們的淫油濕人的解釋……懂得都懂。

5：sing-off = 歌者們的比拼場合
—>bard-off 吟遊詩人們的比拼場合

6.：hack(被僱用的)庸俗文人。
有可能只為了雇主的利益，沒有自己的主見、巧思。

7：D可以拼成 Dice = 擲骰，或是Dick
Nature = DnD用語，指骰到滿骰，20面骰的最大值

8：flumph = 狀聲詞，用在雨傘打開的聲音
hugger = 喜歡抱抱的人
感覺是形容動作很大，大方展現喜愛，會在喜劇出現的、肢體動作大到有點滑稽的人。

9：card 主角、王牌、焦點
依照queen card那首韓文歌意境翻的。

10：spittin' bars = 即興rap，rap得很讚
我用「嘻哈」來翻意境。
翻不出來的雙關：他們真的在酒吧。

11：G可以拼成Genius = 天才，或是G-flat = 降G大調。

12：porked pig = 一種肉豬
用而牠不會說話，只會oink、oink叫來翻。

13：do for kicks 做為了一時獲得刺激/快樂的事。
kick = 踢一腳。
這邊舉個例。

這系列第一、二季官方頻道都有中文CC字幕喔！快去看！直接幫你放第一季播放清單，不用謝;)

然後幫我翻譯第三季之後的故事(我想看懂QQ
還是說哪裏有資源?這麼好看應該有中文圈討論ㄅ

碎碎念：
修了很久，有些地方就是不夠滿意，但與其放任先前的滿意感慢慢消磨，不如就放出來！
我很喜歡這系列，超讚！每個角色個性鮮明(雖然主要三人都不是善陣營:D)
這集反派(?)不過是個藍色元素一吟遊混蛋，怎麼能跟我劇中最喜愛的Antrius比呢？那可是風騷的利嘴(?)
(自家水元素裔吟遊詩人覺得被冒犯)
希望大家會喜歡這系列啦！
如果有其他人在翻譯......我想看！

聲明：本人無意侵權，純翻譯，若有侵權請告知我。 翻譯新手，如有翻譯錯誤或建議也歡迎告訴我。

Statement: These masterpieces are NOT belong to me. If the creator of the song want me to remove this, then I will. My English not very well. So if there are mistakes or you have advices, just tell me! We can discuss this!